Small Talk : We can tallk all day and still can't agree on anything. Cut the small talk! Get to the point.

What is the purpose of small talk? I am curious. It seems to me that some people can manage to hold a conversation for a very long time without feeling dragged on by time. They can also roll out so many topics in succession, whilst keeping the conversation lively and interesting. I am a straightforward person, so for me small talk is not something I enjoy having during a conversation. I realize that it can make a person quite boring and sometimes almost too serious. Why? Well, although small talk doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the conversation or discussion that is about to take place, it can be beneficial to include it at the beginning, in between or at the end of a conversation.

What are topics commonly used in small talk? I have only listed a few topics here. However, the list can be so huge, it can be anything you can find in a newspaper or magazine.
1. Weather :- It is quite safe topic if the parties are not familiar with one another. “Its a very hot day, isn’t it?” In regions where the climate has great variation and can be unpredictable, it is quite common to talk about the weather. Actually, at school, we used to think that people who talk about the weather are boring because in the tropics, there is really nothing much to talk about when someone brings up the weather.

2. Television, movies and films. Almost everyone has watched a programme on the television or read movie reviews, at least once in their lifetime. Not a movie buff or couch potato? What about the theme songs from movies. And the faces of superstars that are so well promoted and advertised everywhere around the world? Surely you would have heard about them somewhere. Even if you haven’t, mind you, as soon as your friend bring up topics on entertainment in a small talk, you will want to get into the swing of the conversation. “Oh?! I didn’t know anything about Shrek 4D adventure. I have only heard of 3D movies. How was your experience with that?”

3. Sports. This year, 2010, has got Asia talking sports all year. Commonwealth Games in India, Youth Olympic Games in Singapore and Asian Games in Guangzhou. There are noteworthy topics like medal winners, Asian sports and Asian venues. “Did you see the closing ceremony of the Asian Games live on television? It was spectacular, wasn’t it?”

4. Traffic. You may think this is boring but in most Asian countries, it is not just a topic for small talk but will be spoken about in between conversations and at the end of a conversation simply because there is always heavy traffic all day long. They say if you are able to drive well in Bangkok, Thailand or Jakarta, Indonesia, you can drive and survive anywhere in the world. Even on Facebook, people in Indonesia are updating their frustrations while waiting for the taxi to get to work. “Macet sekali. Sudah satu jam menunggu taksi, masih belum ada yang kosong. Udah terlambat ke kantor lagi nih.”

5. Food. It is probably the easiest topic in a small talk. If you do not eat spicy food, you can joke about why you cannot have it. “Hey, I like spicy food but my tummy just can’t handle it. Do you enjoy eating spicy food?” “So, is it durian season yet? I think durian is great but it leaves a bad taste to my mouth and my breath stinks all day long after eating it.” Topics about food during the Muslim fasting period is less commonly talked about though. Instead of talking about the food, the Muslim folks will ask, “Are you fasting today? Where are breaking your fast today?”

6. Family. In Asian culture, questions about the family are common and well received. The family unit is the strength for the individual. So you would probably hear an Asian making a request before parting, “Please send regards to your family.” Or “I meant to ask you. How is your mum?” It is not about being kind, polite or courteous, but it is just part of the Asian culture to do so. The family name is held dear to an Asian individual and he is very pleased if one should ask about their well being of their family members.

7. Economy and Politics. Small talk on economy and politics takes place with professional and business contacts. If both parties or people in the group share a common livelihood, example, they are working professionals who pay income tax, you can hear them talking about the economy and political scenes in their conversations. Because these topics can be become quite heavy, it is best to keep the conversation short and shallow (not in detail), so as not to invite any kind of disagreement. One way is to refer to a 3rd party. “I heard on the news last night that they are going to raise the tuition fees. What do you think of that?”

Because small talk has no purpose except to serve itself, the topics can be varied and styled accordingly, depending on the relationship of the parties involved and the level of interpersonal space needed.

In fact, in a marriage, small talk turns out to be a lubricant if a married couple gets into a disagreement or a quarrel. In an effort to get the wife feeling happy again, the husband speaks about their holiday in Bali. He says, “Did you like the coffee we bought from Bali? I thought it tasted a bit bitter.” Wife may not want to reply but eventually she may. Small talk may seem unimportant and pointless, but it can bring two persons back together again after a quarrel.